you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
