i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
