You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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