so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
