OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
did i just pee glitter
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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