North Korea, Best Korea!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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