sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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