dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to calm my uterus...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
