Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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