First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
