Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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