Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
