what if every blade of grass was a penis?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize