just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
