it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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