oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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