Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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