margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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