Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
