You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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