but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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