I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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