Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
