i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize