did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
