Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
