: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i came on her dog
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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