You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
