You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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