After last night, I could never be a politician.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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