he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
