i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize