you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
