I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
