i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize