Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
