god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
