i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
