Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
