I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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