i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
