Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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