Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
