i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
