I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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