I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
