did you get engaged???
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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