I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
