his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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