Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
