I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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