Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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