the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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