I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
