somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
