and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
