Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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