and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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