the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
